Everything mental health

 When I came across the word, "inner critic" I felt fancy. Like I learnt a new word and couldn't wait to see what it means for me personally.  Until I realised how much my life was getting ruined because of this voice. It's almost a constant in my head. If I don't mind it (mindfully watch it), it has the capacity to spoil my entire day. Inner critic (definition) : 1. An inner critic is an internal voice characterized by self-judgment and a critical stance toward oneself. 2.   It tells you reasons you are not good enough based on early life experiences and contributes to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, or depression. Source:  https://www.choosingtherapy.com/overcome-inner-critic/ What happens when you have an inner critic as constant as mine: 1. We make poor choices. We are unable to see the right opportunities for growth, rest, relaxation and good friendships.  2. We become lazy. "It's not going to turn out good anyway, why bother try?" 3. W...

 I used to think I was a confident individual until I realised who I was on the inside. It was a great revelation finding that I was validation-seeking and did not have my own inner source of "I am well". I was more aware of this part of me in by my late 20s and early 30s. Probably that's the time we are working, getting married etc where not all your work shows up as marks, grades, recognition/attention etc. Sometimes or most times, they don't. You work without the recognition. I realised that I have not seen me enough and validated myself enough without the need of external factors such as what I achieve in terms of marks, certificates, money, people's liking towards me etc. This was hard for me to turn from someone who is externally focused to someone who is more of internally focused.  A cute pic explaining this... (my list of) Things we have to change today to bring the control back within us: Do not look on the outside: for proof that you are worthy, or you ...

 My greatest fear for humanity is in seeing some of us unable differentiate between abusive and healthy behaviors. Let's begin with defining the word "Abuse"... Abuse (definition):  use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse To simply put it, "use is abuse". Let's say you and I are about to meet a group of people who we want to be seen positively with. Maybe like new colleagues, or guests coming home. I am particularly nervous, just like anyone else when we meet new people and I out of the blue, make a comment about you. It can be a fact or a lie or somewhere in between, doesn't matter. I make a comment for the enjoyment for others, like I say, "She only cleans the house only when someone comes home! Otherwise she wouldn't even know where the broom is!" This is particularly shameful if you were sensitive around cleanliness, or about making a positive impression, or let it be anything. Here I used you. I used you to make myse...

I used to hate small talk, but in some ways I still stay away. I used to feel ingenuine, and desperate when I engage in small talk. I more often have a sad face or a stone face on to block anyone who dares to speak to me. I thought I was just a teensy bit shy, until I recognized I suffer from a moderate level of 'social anxiety'. This was the case, until a few months back. Small talk (definition):  polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters, especially as engaged in on social occasions. Why should anyone practice small talk? Whether you are a corporate employee or a homemaker managing a household, we need people (homo sapiens)  to maintain good mental health for ourselves, to manage work easily through better emotional connect, to get help when required or delegate, and to be part of an ever-growing, evolving community.  Why are most of us bad at small-talk? We think of small talk as 'waste of time' equate it with 'gossiping', 'people p...

We need our intuitive skills to make decisions which range from protecting ourselves, to making a life choice, or to even make lives better, more joyful, more content. Today I want to write how I went about realising and experiencing my sharpened intuitive skills, instead of giving someone a 'guide' of sorts. Everyone's path may vary. How I developed my Intuition: I did not intend to develop my intuition, but it automatically happened so. You may ask, how can we know we have a great intuition? Well, this is left to your own best judgement. In my opinion, it would say that a decision one makes, either big or small, impactful or not so much, which gives incredible peace and satisfaction no matter how many hurdles we may have to cross or not cross because of that decision. I am a mental health counselor, and my profession involves speaking to many kinds of people - most importantly building trust with clients so they can open up honestly about themselves. My intuition helps me...

Have you ever felt so numb and lifeless you just went through the day doing basic things, sometimes not even that? Sometimes we may find ourselves tired, even without doing any much heavy work. There is a lingering hopelessness, numbness we may be feeling though physically it looks like everything is fine.  This numbing is the attempt of the brain to bring safety and relaxation into the system when the mental heavy lifting is too much. There may be something in your life which feels too confusing, or maybe you feel stuck, or you have used all your excuses or solutions and can no longer find a way forwards. Sometimes it may be the chore of constant caretaking, meeting other's demands, or your own goals and standards that has led to your burn-out. Take a paper out and write answers to these questions: 1. WHAT IS NOT HELPING ME?  What are your behaviors, attitudes and emotional states that are not helping you? Write it down. 2. WHAT IS A REALITY I AM AFRAID TO FACE? It could be a...